This timeline of the narrator’s stream of consciousness spans a period of 18 fictitious days, the amount of time allotted for the completion of the hypothetical assignment.

***

Day 1
Great. Another LAWR assignment. Okay I shouldn’t think this way. Be positive. This is…good practice for my future lawyer-ing. Next time, I’ll be able to send like 20 1000-word memos before breakfast.

Yea. This is worth it. I need to do this properly. I am not going to procrastinate. Repeat, I am NOT going to procrastinate. This time must be different.

I can start reading the cases tonight straight after dinner and do case summaries for the more important ones. Then I can finish my first draft of the essay by the end of the week. That gives me…2 weeks or so to submission, plenty of time to do a few more drafts and make a couple more adjustments.

If everything goes according to plan, I can submit it early. Gosh that sounds so good, I’ll be freeeeeeee! For a while at least. Procrastination is silly, why do I do it?

From now on, I will never procrastinate again; I’ll stay on top of ALL my work. Next week I’ll be all, “Contract tutorial? Finished it days ago. 150 pages of SLS readings? Just some light reading, yo.” I’m gonna be the most productive, efficient student there ever was. Nothing can break my resolve.

DEAN’S LIST, HERE I COME!

Ooh, new Thought Catalog articles are out.

***

Day 2 to Day 17
Oh crap LAWR! Okay I need to do it like now. Just need to sit down and get down to work.

Is there any space in the Study Room…yes! Awesome okay let’s get comfortable and put on my earphones.

Shoot. 17% battery left. Power point, where are you? Okay shifting stuff over…aaaand I’m all settled. Good. Now to begin.

Actually, doing case summaries seems like a waste of time. I should just read the cases very carefully and write down the important points that are applicable to my case. Okay I’ll start reading right now.

The break isn’t very long though. I don’t think there’s enough time to finish all 6 cases. Just 2 for now and the rest plus a rough outline tonight. I’ll stay up til maybe 2AM? Then I can finish my first draft tomorrow with a couple days to go. That seems safe. I can still submit it relatively early.

I will not leave it til the last minute again. History WILL NOT repeat itself. I won’t let it. Those were the most stressful few hours of my life. I have turned over a new leaf and I’m gonna…Oh FB message!

What’s this link? Ooh cat video!

HAHAHAHAHA CAT!

Oh wow, the related video has like 26 million views. Just one more won’t hurt, I guess. And it has to be good if so many people have watched it.

Holy crap it’s a cat playing a keyboard. IT’S A CAT. PLAYING A KEYBOARD. This is the best video I’ve ever watched in my life! It trumps all other videos; nothing I watch from now on can ever compare!!

Wait a minute…

I can’t play the keyboard. But this cat can. Why is this cat more skilled than me? This is not right. I need to learn how to play the keyboard so I’m at least as skilled as a cat.

“Keyboard basics”. Go forth and search, YouTube! Huh, 5,560 results. This one looks good…Yay I’m gonna be a keyboard player like that cat!

***

Day 18 (D-Day)

 

9:00AM
“Oh gosh need to submit my assignment tmr but I haven’t started LOL. #regrets”

I’m almost at 2500 tweets! That’s amazing, how have I tweeted so much? That’s ridonkulous.

Why do I talk like that in my head? I hope I never say that out loud.

Oh someone retweeted me! Good to know I’m not the only serial procrastinator around.

Okay but seriously, this is not good. NOT GOOD. The deadline is tomorrow and I have nothing. At all. This was not supposed to happen again. AEGJSOINGIOSFSJJIDSJFIODSJFJ

Okay chill, I need to chill. Can’t concentrate whilst in panic mode. Alright need to write it NOW. I can do this. If I can compose a tweet in 5 seconds, I can do a 1000 word assignment in a couple of hours.

Rule…what’s a rule again? Ugh and where did I put my notes? I really need to organize the stuff on my table. Speaking of which, I need to get document trays from IKEA. I’ll drop by this weekend after I finish this bothersome assignment.

Oh right, now what’s my rule? And where are my notes?! AND WHAT ON EARTH IS CRuPAC?

I should take a snack break so I can think more clearly. Yum, shortbread.

Maybe shortbread will help me remember what CruPAC is.

 

7:00PM

7PM. It’s 7PM and I’m at like 250 words. Out of 1000. Not even halfway.

HOLY CRAP THIS IS NOT HAPPENING HOW DID THIS EVEN WHY DO I PROCRASTINATE SO?! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!! NFNKMDLKVMKSFLRMPOPRG

Okay I need to stop freaking out and figure out how to prove this rule. The judge gave an explanation in paragraph…154. Where’s paragraph 154?

Paragraph 154? These judges really write too much.

Oh…I can hear people having fun outside. I wanna have fun too… It feels like it’s been forever since I had fun

No. Don’t get distracted. Focus.

I’ve been in this room for 5 hours. Closed off from the world…This is my prison now.

I need to focus.

One day, I shall break out from this prison and be free again! No matter how long it takes, I will never give up. That reminds me of that song…

Focus.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…

FOCUS!

Never gonna run around and desert you…

I am going to fail this assignment.

 

8:55PM

Yesssss finally done!! Just need to check my word count…

1053.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Okay come on just find cuttable words. Okay okay okay no not this yep okay can remove this…this one is just an empty sentence why is this here? That’s out, now moving on…

Why do I use phrases like “as a result of his actions” when there’s a word limit? I should use “hence” and “thus” more. I need to stop being so long-winded.

Word Count = 998.

HALLELUJAH! Now I just need to upload it…wait why isn’t the IVLE website loading…?

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Curse you, lousy NUS Wi-Fi! Curse you and your intermittent nature!

Oh thank God the connection is back. LAWR where are you…workbin…

Crap, please load? LOAD NOW. NOW. Don’t do this to me ARGHHH!!

YAY loaded okay okay now to upload oh gosh my hands are shaking silly fingers click the upload button CLICK IT I SAY

oh gosh okay it’s uploading…pleasepleasepleaseplease YES okay uploaded

 

9:01PM

@$&%.

 

[Disclaimer: This thought timeline is a (hopefully) humorous work of fiction and bears no relation to the thoughts of the author who, like all NUS Law students, never procrastinates and gets all her work done at least 2 days in advance. Any resemblance to her thoughts or the thoughts of other NUS Law students is purely coincidental.]

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Article contributed by Allison Tan (Law 1)